Thankful

***WARNING***

This is my blog so I’m having a soap box moment. Take it or leave it!

Sometimes I have days when I wonder how AND why I ever got involved in the nonprofit world. I wasn’t one of those do-gooders who grew up wanting to save the world or who thought that working for a cause was more important than making a dollar. Instead I had big dreams of being J.Lo from the Wedding Planner and planning the most lavish weddings known to man.

I ended up working for a nonprofit by pure accident, and I suppose by pure convenience. One of the requirements for my degree was a nonprofit class that included 100 hours of volunteering at a local nonprofit organization. Through the recommendation of my professor I ended up volunteering for the Special Events Manager at a Volunteer Center. At the completion of the semester I took a Special Events Internship position with them and upon graduation was hired on as the Special Events Coordinator. Although I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay and start my career in a nonprofit, it was a job that was created for me, I loved the people, and it allowed me to go backpacking for three weeks after graduation before starting. I could either go away for three weeks with a job, or without. I choose with! Almost four years later I had moved up to the Special Events Manger, had created 3 new events/programs and was DONE with the nonprofit sector.  I decided that I would be much better suited for the corporate world and that the nonprofits were too lovey dovey for me. So, I moved to New Jersey, stopped working for a nonprofit and started working for Satan’s mistress instead. Hmmm that didn’t go as well as planned.

I loved being back up North and was much happier personally and socially but MISERABLE at my job. As I began looking for a new one, I still had no intentions of working for a nonprofit again – until however – I found a job that had my name written alllllll over it. And it of course was for a nonprofit. I decided to take my chances and apply. The bottom line was I needed a job and would figure out the rest later. The minute I came up the elevator for my interview, I knew this nonprofit was different. Don’t get me wrong, I worked for a great organization in Virginia, but it was a VERY different type of nonprofit. The funding was different, the operating budget was less and the office environment was much smaller. I had great co-workers but we were all always on top of each other and I always felt like everyone was more worried about hurting peoples feelings than about doing what was right for the organization.  When I walked into my new office, I knew it was different. Not only is it located in the middle of the greatest city in the world, but it’s an actual office – no more tiny house with deadly mold issues and rats – it had a staff of almost 60 people, has a real management structure and a HUGE operating budget. I’m planning Gala’s at The Plaza and fashion shows at CHANEL. I finally feel like I have arrived!

But here’s the thing. Behind the fancy events and sparkly names we’re doing something truly amazing. The organization I work for works to with teachers and principals to transform high-poverty, low-performing schools into self sustaining successful environments for students and teachers. Our schools are located in the most poverty stricken areas of NYC and D.C. – and expanding into other cities soon. Our kids’ struggle getting to school every morning because they may have not had enough to eat the night before, are running from gun shots to and from the subway, were taking care of their siblings, or up all night listening to the sometimes deadly sounds of their surroundings. They’re not learning because they are shouldering things that most adults will probably never have to go through. And their teachers – who were given no training on how to deal with this – are fighting every day to help these kids learn. It’s a constant struggle and sometimes they all end up on the loosing side.

As part of our Gala each spring we produce a film to show what our program does and to tell the real stories of the education system. Last week I spent time in a few of our schools. Two located in the Bronx and one in East Harlem. Every day I come to work and see how our organization works from the behind the scenes, but I’ve never had the opportunity to be on the front lines. To see what our field staff faces every day and to see the lives they are changing and the transformation they are making. I listened to the stories of students, teachers and principals for hours on end. A 15 year old girl taking care of her mother who is dying of stage 4 lung cancer all by herself; a young boy who saw his father shot and killed by a police officer and has no respect for authority figures; a girl who made her teacher promise she’d stay at school with her until she graduated because she couldn’t watch another teacher leave because it was just too hard to stay; teachers who would cry in their classrooms because no matter what they did they couldn’t control the chaos around them. And then I heard about the strength they found when our field staff showed them how to stop the chaos; how to get their children to learn and the students noticing a difference in themselves and their school. While sitting there, wiping tears from my eyes, I suddenly became very thankful. Thankful for the schools I went to. Thankful for the community that I grew up in. Thankful for the opportunities that have been offered me. Thankful for the chance to work for an organization that gives back in such a monumental way.

The girl who never thought she’d work for a nonprofit and landed their by accident, no longer thinks it’s an accident. I work long, hard hours. I get frustrated and annoyed at some of the petty things that are requested of me for our Gala. But then I remember why I’m here. I remember that the money I help raise at our Gala will be used to help these kids, to strengthen these schools and to inevitably provide these students with a better future – with an exceptional future and school that these kids deserve. I may not work in nonprofits for ever but I WILL always find a way to give back. A way to say thank you for the life I’ve been given. Good or bad, ups or downs, happy or sad I’m lucky. Sometimes it’s important to just sit back and remember that. Sometimes it’s important to remember that there really are no accidents.