Good vs. Evil

It hasn't escaped me that I’m not the greatest blogger. It has become so bad that when I go to my bookmarks on my tool bar, and see the name of my blog, I scroll past it really quickly in the hopes that it didn't catch me avoiding it. The thing is, it’s not that I don’t have anything to say it’s more that I come up with ideas and posts and the most inopportune times. For example, without fail, I come up with great blog ideas while I’m taking a shower. While washing my hair I can dictate to myself and entire post, and most of the time it’s so good that I catch myself smiling and giving myself a pat on the back. And every time, I say ok, after I get out of the shower and get dressed I’m going to start writing. But, inevitably, I get out of the shower, put on my pj’s, sit down on my bed for 5 seconds while I’m waiting for my hair to dry, and all of the motivation I had just 5 seconds earlier has left me. I can no longer think about what I had just found so witty and just decide to screw it in hopes that I’ll do it tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and this cycle just repeats itself. Now, if someone could invent a computer that I could take in the shower with me, I’m pretty sure I’d be back to blogging on a daily basis. However, every time I think about investing the time to come up with such a thing, this small voice in my head starts telling me that it’s a terrible idea.

So, we've just explored problemo numero uno. But my blogging problems don’t stop there. I have another issue. A much larger issue. Half the things that I’d like to write about are probably not the most appropriate things to share on a blog that is not well protected, can be read by anyone, and is also read by people whose good side I’d like to remain on. For those of you that know me (like how I’m assuming that strangers out there read this? I think they call that narcissism…), you know that I don’t have the best filter – and let’s not even get started on my facial expressions. Actually, maybe we shouldn't call it a faulty filter, lets call it more of an over active Bull Shit detector and the inability to not call people out on their crap. Thankfully however, becoming a real life adult has taught me to put a little bit of a lid on this and to be better about when I chose to share. But, it’s still not the greatest lid, and although I’m still trying, I’m a work in process. So because I’m trying to be a better “adult” and I’m trying to avoid allowing my mouth to get me in trouble, I find that when I sit down to write a blog entry, I get a little carried away. I spend more time deleting the inappropriate thing’s I've said than I do actually writing content. So I find myself in a dilemma. Do I use my blog for good, or for evil? Do I, 

• A: use it to give people fun updates, or do I 
• B: use it to stand on my own personal soap box and hold nothing back? Or,
• C: do I give this adult thing a real try and compromise and do something in the middle? OR,
• D: do I just stop blogging altogether

I suppose the “fair” thing to do for all of us is to chose option C, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll just keep it real - whether that means fun updates with pictures, or the occasional outburst, I’ll make it more Samantha. I've never really been good at being anyone else anyway! Hence a really absent blog…

With that, you have the opportunity now to stop reading. If not, welcome to the new Straddling the Hudson!