It’s not me, it’s YOU

Today while at work a couple of my coworkers and I engaged in your typical bathroom banter. One thing led to another and we came to find out that one of the girls had a date for right after work. She was really nervous as it was with a guy that she had met online and we all know that when it comes to online dating it can really be a crap shoot. I myself have tried online dating on and off for a bit now and although I’ve gone on a couple decent dates, I tend to be more skeptical about it than not. Most the time I think there must be SOMETHING wrong with these people if they are looking for a date online. Then I remind myself that I’m on the same site, so does that mean there is something wrong with me? Well the answer to that is of course not because I’m perfect. Then I usually go on the date and decide that I was right with my assumption that yes, there was something wrong with them… usually not tall enough, not talkative enough, not aggressive enough…the list could go on and on and thus my skepticism continues. But I digress, this story is not about me, it is about my coworker. Well after a little bit of talking about the date and scaring the crap out of her by somehow getting off topic and talking about self defense and being able to kick the crap out of our dates if necessary, we try to pump her up and tell her it will be awesome. About 10 minutes later I received the below email:

Subject: Just got his text from my date…

“Ok….I should be frank with you. I just got home from work to find that my house still has no power, so basically I can’t shower….and I usually date girls who are larger than you – I thought I’d give it a shot meeting you because you have a great personality but there seems to be too many obstacles.”

Let’s dissect this text shall we? 

First off. I should be frank with you. Oh really? Thanks. Glad you decided to not lie to me before we go on our first date!

Second. I just got home from work to find that my house still has no power, so basically I can’t shower. Ok, I get it…we had a hurricane this past weekend so lots of people don’t have power BUT you are just now realizing on Wednesday that you don’t have power? Also…how did you shower for work today? Have you not showered since the power went out? Clearly his definition of hygiene is in question here. 

Third.  I usually date girls who are larger than you. This line left me speechless and made me literally laugh out loud. I have gone on lots of dates…and in my time, although I’d really rather not admit it, have been blown off and have come up with my fair share of blow offs. But this my friends by FAR takes the cake. He basically said, I’m sorry you are too skinny for me to date.  Now the kicker of this is that my coworker is not the smallest girl. She is not huge, but she is a little bit above average. Which begs me to ask the question…WHAT KIND OF GIRLS IS HE DATING?????

Which leads me to my email reply:

“I don’t know how to respond to that besides laughing. He basically just told you that you are too skinny for him to date. I’d love to be told that by a date, so at least there’s a positive out of all of this.”

For real, no one likes to be turned down, no matter what the reason BUT if I had to be dumped, God please do it because you think I’m too skinny for you!!!!!!!!

Now for the final line. I thought I’d give it a shot meeting you because you have a great personality but there seems to be too many obstacles. His obstacles include you are too small and I can’t shower. Yup, you’re right those are definitely incredible obstacles that one could never get over. Clearly she dodged a HUGE bullet here. 

This whole situation takes the” it’s not me, it’s you to a whole new level.”  Where are these crazies on the lovey dovey match.com and eharmony commercials where they are all gitty about finding their soul mates.  I’m telling you… it’s tough out there in the world of dating.  Definitely isn’t making me want to jump on the internet again anytime soon! 

Maybe I’ll give up dating and just become one of those cat ladies. Nah, scratch that. I hate cats. 

 see, look how mean this cat looks!

Get your mind out of the gutter!

If you know anything about New York City and Hoboken you SHOULD realize that the Hudson River sits quietly, (well at least when we AREN’T having hurricanes) in between these two cities.  For those of you who inadvertently think of the most sexual meaning first, may have assumed that this blog was going to be about sexual exploits, ie: Sex and The City. But alas you are wrong, for at least the moment, as my mother and father, and I’m sure alllll of my mothers friends (as she loves to share….) will be reading this. This blog is intended to share my adventures, trials and tribulations as I somehow find a way to manage my social, personal and work life in these two fabulous, yet very different cities.

So I guess I should probably share a little bit of background of how I landed here. My “current” story started almost exactly a year ago.  I went to college in Northern Virginia and after graduating I worked for a local nonprofit agency in the area. In total I spent about 7 ½ years in Virginia, and if I’m being honest, I probably spent two years too many there.  At heart I always have and always will be a Jersey girl. I have a ton of pride for where I came from and even more pride for the fact that I am not one of those stereotypical “Jersey Shore” girls. For a long time, I tried to push the Jersey away and try to make my self a Southern Sweetheart. No dice. Turns out, I wasn’t so good at that. However, I did lose the perm and the acrylic nails, so I suppose not all was lost! I made some great friends and learned a lot about myself but realized that my heart was elsewhere.  So, almost one year ago exactly, I made the decision to pick up and move. Whether I am believed or not, it was a really difficult decision. Although I knew the only way for me to truly be happy was to make this change, it was devastatingly scary to leave everything and everyone I had known for the last 8 years. And it all happened so fast. One minute I’m on the phone getting advice from this woman in New Jersey and the next minute I’m driving up for an interview. The following day I was offered the position and then had to make the long drive back to VA with nothing else but my thoughts. I then spent the next few hours calling all my friends to not only say Hey! I got a new job, but Hey! I’m moving…in two weeks! The next two weeks were a blur, and before I knew it my parents were there with a UHAUL and we were moving all of my worldly processions back to New Jersey. The day I left was terrible. It was awkward and uncomfortable. I think mainly it was because it happened so fast and because no one really knew what to say. Maybe it was because some of us knew that relationships would change and never be the same. I was the first of my friends to really choose to leave. Others had left because they got married, or for grad school but I was the first to leave because to be honest, I wasn’t happy there anymore. It just made it feel different; at least it did for me.

When I first moved to Jersey I was living with my parents. At first, I thought this was going to be a nightmare, but in the end I really enjoyed myself. It was great to spend so much quality time with them as it had been years since we had lived under the same roof. And it was also pretty fantastic to come home to a home cooked meal every night! I was working for a small meeting planning company that plans pharmaceutical meetings. It was a night mare. I hated what I was doing and who I was doing it for, but I put a smile on my face and pretended like it was fabulous. On one hand I was so thrilled to be back in New Jersey. In January I moved into a fabulous apartment in Hoboken with girls I met on Craigslist. Thankfully they are great girls and I didn’t end up living with the evil step sisters from Cinderella. I was living a couple blocks away from my best friend in the entire world along with some of my other most favorite people. However, on the other hand, I was at this job that made me miserable. Thankfully one of my best friends had recently had a baby and although was an hour behind me, was up early enough to talk to me on my commute. There were a few times where she had to give me a pep talk before I would walk into the office.  But I was thankful for my new social life and decided that having one positive was better than two negatives!

Thankfully! Things didn’t work out at this job and I ended up landing what really is my dream job. Seriously, it was like I had written the job description for myself and posted it. Right after I applied I turned to my roommates and said if they don’t call me for an interview I will be so offended! Lucky for me they did call me… and even gave me the job.  I landed a gig, ironically enough, at another nonprofit located in New York City. I’m the Events Manager and in charge of all these amazing events that host fabulous people. I spend lots of time looking at the society pages just so I have an idea of the crazy people I’m working with. There legit is a woman named Celery. I mean seriously, her parents must have been praying that she’d be a socialite because really what else could she be…. A  lawyer? A Doctor? Would you trust your future with a woman named Celery???

So now…I’m happy to say I currently for the most part have turned my one positive and one negative into TWO positives….now if I could only please my mother and get a boyfriend… but that’s for another post!

And that leaves me here….living in Hoboken and working in NYC and loving every second of it. So if you’re interested in keeping up with me while I continue to “Straddle the Hudson”, you know where to find me!

P.S.- I promise that all of my posts won't be a novel...give me a break, it's the first one!